05/26/25
The man was so stressed out.
He was stressed out from his work.
His life at home had become tumultuous.
So he finally decided to seek out help.
He heard of a master who, in just one meeting, could teach anyone how to effectively manage their stress.
He went to meet with the master and told her…
“I have so many problems.”
She asked him…
“Where are the problems?”
He went on to explain all the problems at work and at home…
She listened patiently, then asked…
“Well, where are the problems? I don’t see them.”
He laughed and replied…
“Well, I guess they’re all in my mind.”
She then asked…
“So what is the problem?”
He paused for a moment, then said…
“I guess my thoughts are the problem.”
She responded…
“You’re very close. Try again.”
The man didn’t know how to respond, so the master explained…
“Here, let me help you.
The problems are not out there.
Thoughts are not the problem.
The problem is when you believe your thoughts.
Thoughts do not require your belief.
You can choose to believe them or not.
Change your relationship to your thoughts…
And the problems go away.”
If you consider anyone’s journey into being more mindful and self-aware, here’s what often happens.
Early in life, we blame our external circumstances for our problems.
This creates distress, anxiety, and overwhelm.
We then begin to realize that in order to manage the stress, we must focus on how to work through this internally.
We recognize that if we change our thoughts, if we work with our emotions, we can manage our stress more skillfully.
Then we fall into the second trap of trying to control thoughts and emotions.
This ends up backfiring because we are then in a state of resistance to our thoughts, which only exacerbates the problem.
It’s only when we realize that the solution is not about controlling thoughts or fighting with emotions…
It’s in shifting our relationship to them.
By becoming acutely aware of thoughts and emotions…
Observing them from afar…
We learn to detach from them and choose whether to let these thoughts fuel our behavior.
This is the superpower that every person is endowed with.
It takes work to tap into this superpower…
But once you do…
Everything begins to change.
So this week, I invite you to make this an intentional practice.
Observe thoughts as though they were someone else’s.
Observe them, knowing that you get to choose whether you believe them or not.
This observation does not require you to be in conflict with thoughts.
On the contrary, imbue your practice with compassion, respect, and kindness towards the thoughts.
Get familiar with the practice and you’ll begin to notice major changes in how you relate to your thoughts and emotions.
Trust me…
It will change your life.
Rooting for you,
Jay (encouraging you to shift your relationship with thoughts and emotions)
