Have you ever done something so awkward that it still makes you cringe years later?
I have.
It’s a story I’ve never shared publicly… until now.
Let me take you back to the summer of 2001.
I was 15 years old, riding my bike with a friend down at the Jersey Shore. Picture a stumpy teenager full of uncoordinated confidence and awkward attempts at self-discovery.
As we rode along, I spotted two cute girls about our age walking toward a Burger King. My stomach knotted.
I wanted to talk to them… but I was frozen by fear.
Then, a “genius” idea hit me. If I pretended to crash my bike, they would rush over to check on me. I would act a little hurt, but ultimately, I would charm them into a conversation.
So, I went for it.
The bike skidded. I tumbled dramatically to the pavement, scraping my arms and legs.
And the girls?
They stopped… looked at me… laughed… and walked right into Burger King.
There I was, lying on the ground, bloodied, humiliated, and very much alone.
In that moment, I learned something that took years to fully unravel.
I was so focused on myself—my fears, my desired outcome—that I completely disconnected from the present moment.
If I had approached the girls with genuine curiosity and connection instead of scheming about how to impress them, things might have turned out very differently.
And here’s the lesson I want to share with you, my friend…
When we fixate on what we want or how we appear to others, we lose focus on what matters most: being present, connecting authentically, and serving the moment.
So, the next time you find yourself overly attached to an outcome… pause.
Ask yourself: How can I focus less on myself and more on the moment I am in?
That small shift can lead to better conversations, more meaningful connections, and a much fuller life.
Rooting for you,
Jay (encouraging you to focus on what matters most)
