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92: Stop Being Nice. Start Being Honest

In our last episode, we met Daniela, a passionate leader trying to fix the toxic culture in her workplace. Jay met with Dr. Sherene McHenry, who emphasized the importance of leaders setting the tone by being aware of what they tolerate. That sparked a bigger question: how do we communicate clearly and respectfully when performance is slipping?

In this solo episode, Jay challenges the common urge to be “nice” at work and instead encourages leaders to embrace honesty as the highest form of kindness. Drawing from experience coaching leaders at Tesla, Google, and Amazon, Jay introduces a simple yet powerful mindset shift that transforms the way we approach feedback.

Jay walks through a direct, respectful, and research-backed process using the EIC framework; Example, Impact, Change, to guide feedback conversations that build trust and accountability. He also explains how to avoid two common traps: sugarcoating to maintain likability or micromanaging through criticism.

If you’ve ever avoided hard conversations or struggled to hold your team accountable without damaging relationships, this episode offers a clear roadmap to lead with clarity, care, and courage.

Notable Quotes

“Being nice is about being liked. Being kind is about being honest.” — Jay Abbasi

“Honest leaders give feedback because they care. Avoiding the conversation doesn’t serve anyone.” — Jay Abbasi

Resources and Links

Jay Abbasi

Website: https://jayabbasi.me/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jayabbasi/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayabbasi_/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejayabbasi/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jayabbasipodcast

Join Us Next Time

In Monday’s episode, Jay introduces Nico, a pharmaceutical professional who struggles with comparison and emotional suppression. Jay will meet with Allan Kehler, global keynote speaker and bestselling author, to explore how leaders can navigate emotional bottlenecks and support mental well-being, especially for those hiding behind a mask.

Don’t miss this powerful conversation on healing, authenticity, and mental health.