02/23/26
STORY
It was a fierce race for Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.
William Gladstone was the intellectual.
Brilliant.
Smart.
Impressive.
Benjamin Disraeli was different.
Charismatic.
Warm.
Magnetic.
Days before the election, a simple comment helped shape the outcome.
It came from Jennie Jerome, an American socialite in England.
She had dined with both men separately.
Afterward, she was asked what she thought of them.
Her response became legendary:
“When I left dinner with Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I left dinner with Disraeli, I felt I was the cleverest woman.”
Gladstone showed his intelligence.
Disraeli showed his curiosity.
Gladstone focused on himself.
Disraeli focused on the young woman.
Gladstone gave her the impression that he was extraordinary.
Disraeli gave her the impression that she was extraordinary.
The result?
Disraeli won the election.
The lesson?
Influence doesn’t start with what you say.
It starts with how you make people feel.
Ask thoughtful questions.
Listen with genuine interest.
Reflect back the other person’s value.
People don’t remember how impressive you were.
They remember how you made them feel.
OBSERVATION
Research from Harvard Business School found that people who ask more questions, especially thoughtful follow-up questions, are consistently rated as more likable and effective conversational partners.
Across multiple experiments, participants who focused on others rather than themselves were perceived as more engaging and built stronger connections.
The findings show that making others feel heard and valued is a key driver of influence.
(Huang et al., “It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking”, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2017)
STRATEGY
Make an intentional effort this week to “put the spotlight” on others.
Whether it’s with your partner, a friend, or a colleague…
Look at them as if they are the most interesting person in the world.
Explore their brilliance.
Be curious about them, so much so that you can’t wait to learn more.
Then…
Notice the effect it has on them.
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to make others the center of your universe)
Global keynote speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Huge fan of “The Sopranos” (it’s the best show ever, by a long shot)