08/24/26
STORY
A student of martial arts went to his teacher, eager to learn how to become a master of the art form.
He said to his teacher…
“I am devoted to studying your martial arts system. How long will it take me to master it?”
The teacher casually replied…
“10 years.”
The student, disliking the teacher’s response, said impatiently…
“But I want to master it faster than that. I will work very hard. I will practice everyday, ten or more hours a day if I have to. How long will it take then?”
The teacher looked at the student, thought for a moment, then replied…
“20 years.”
The point?
The teacher knew that the student’s strong desire to master martial arts would actually hinder him.
The student revealed his impatience and unwillingness to learn, which the teacher recognized as barriers to his learning.
This lesson goes well beyond martial arts.
Whatever we’re working towards…
Be it a specific career goal…
Skill development…
Or relationship building…
The more we strive for something, the less likely we are to attain it.
If we have attachments to an end result…
And feel resistance within us due to the distance between where we are and where we want to be…
We create roadblocks to achieving that goal.
Instead, set your goal, then be open to learning.
Be curious.
Let go of it needing to be achieved in a certain amount of time…
And focus your energy on doing your best in the present moment.
With that approach, you’ll look up one day, pleasantly surprised at how quickly you were able to achieve your goal.
OBSERVATION
In 1908, psychologists Robert Yerkes and John Dodson discovered what became known as the Yerkes-Dodson Law. The finding is that performance improves with increased arousal and effort, but only up to a point. Beyond that point, too much pressure and striving actually causes performance to decline. Decades of research since have confirmed it: when we grip a goal too tightly, when the urgency to achieve it overwhelms the process of pursuing it, the very effort meant to accelerate us becomes the thing that slows us down.
(Yerkes, R.M. & Dodson, J.D., “The Relation of Strength of Stimulus to Rapidity of Habit-Formation,” Journal of Comparative Neurology and Psychology, 1908)
STRATEGY
Be hyper-aware of your tendency to “grip onto your goal” this week.
Notice what feelings come up when you think about your goal.
Peace?
Joy?
Fulfillment?
Or do you feel stress?
Anxiety?
Anger?
If it’s the former…
You’ve adopted a healthy mindset in relation to your goal.
If it’s the latter…
You have some work to do in detaching from the outcome.
If that’s the case…
Take a breath…
Shift your attention to the present…
And remind yourself that doing your very best in this moment is how you’ll get to your goal faster.
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to avoid putting too much pressure on yourself)
International Keynote Speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Capable of cracking my thumbs at any moment (I don’t use the other hand; just a quick snap of the thumbs and they crack lol)