12/08/25
STORY
When I was 12…
My class took a trip for outdoor group activities.
Our task: build a structure with a bridge to a center platform.
It was timed, and I jumped into the leadership role.
I was telling people what to do…
Pushing for progress…
But we got stuck.
The bridge wouldn’t stabilize.
A quiet girl approached me softly:
“I think we need to flip the board.”
I dismissed it and kept moving.
The time ran out.
We failed.
The counselor later told the group: we had the solution, but the person who saw it wasn’t heard.
She was right, and I was wrong.
Boy, did I feel stupid.
I wasn’t leading.
I was trying to be right.
That moment taught me something I’ll never forget:
Leadership isn’t about having the answer.
It’s about creating space for answers.
Drop the ego.
Stay curious.
Listen.
Focus on what’s right, not who’s right.
OBSERVATION
According to a 2023 ASAE study, 74% of employees say they’re more effective at their jobs when they feel heard.
(ASAE Center for Association Leadership, “How to Help Your Staff Feel Heard”, August 2023).
STRATEGY
When you feel the urge to jump in and solve a problem…
Pause.
Instead of offering an answer…
Get curious.
Ask questions.
Listen fully.
Assume the other person has the solution, and your job is to help it surface.
Rooting for you,
Jay (encouraging you focus on what’s right, not who’s right)
Global keynote speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Son to the most resilient woman I’ve ever met