08/03/26
STORY
I’m normally not the type of person who starts conversations with strangers on an airplane.
On 95% of my flights, I prefer to have that time for myself.
Either I’m brainstorming, working on a creative project, or just resting.
Funny enough, one of my most memorable experiences is when I decided to break that trend years ago.
I was working at Tesla on a flight home from a training I facilitated on the West Coast.
It was a time in my life when I was really pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
Reading tons of books on personal development and communication inspired me to turn to the woman in the window seat and spark a conversation.
I quickly learned that this woman was fascinating.
She was an Olympic swimmer who, at a young age, travelled the world to compete.
In her early 20s, she suffered a brain injury and had multiple high-risk surgeries.
Doctors weren’t sure if she could talk or walk again, let alone swim.
Post-surgery, she went through a lengthy recovery process and beat the odds.
She was able to compete again, and now, she travels around the globe coaching other young swimmers.
Overhearing the conversation, the gentleman to my left chimed in.
We both asked about his background and learned he was a retired FBI agent.
While he couldn’t divulge all the specifics of his career, he mentioned that his work allowed him to see places he never thought he’d see.
I asked them both about their favorite places to visit.
Interestingly enough, they both said Holland and Germany.
There I was; just a regular guy chatting with an ex-FBI agent and celebrated Olympic swimmer.
Throughout the entire flight, I was exposed to these two incredible people who have lived remarkable lives.
Had I sat there like I normally do and said nothing, I would not have had that experience.
As I’m writing this, I feel a challenge coming on.
I’ve been keeping to myself in public places much more these days, and that needs to change.
I need to do better.
You never really know who you might meet by simply making some eye contact and saying “hello”.
OBSERVATION
Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago asked commuters to either talk to the stranger next to them or sit in solitude. Those who struck up a conversation reported a significantly happier experience and felt no less productive. The twist? Before the experiment, most participants predicted that talking to a stranger would be the worst option. We consistently underestimate what a single conversation with someone we’ve never met can give us.
(Epley, N. & Schroeder, J., “Mistakenly Seeking Solitude,” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2014)
STRATEGY
Willing to get out of your comfort zone this week?
The challenge I’m giving to myself, I give to you:
Start one conversation with a stranger this week.
Just one.
Say hello…
Be curious…
With no agenda other than to make a connection.
As the study revealed…
You may think it will be a terrible experience…
But the highest probability is that you’ll enjoy it thoroughly.
Will you accept my challenge?
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to spark a conversation and make a connection)
Global keynote speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Fan of the show “Paradise” (we’re still in the middle of Season 2, so please, no spoilers!)