08/10/26
STORY
Alex and I recently finished watching season 2 of the show “Paradise”.
If you haven’t seen it yet, highly recommended.
You know how when you’re watching a show or a movie, there’s a part of you that eagerly wants to know how it’s going to end?
For this show, I felt it throughout the second season.
There was an impulse to reach for my phone and just find out.
But then I thought…
“If I just skip to the ending, it’ll spoil the experience.”
So I held back from doing so, and I’m so glad I did.
The ending has some cool twists, and my wife and I are so excited for season 3 (coming out next year).
The point isn’t to get you to watch the show (although I’m confident you’ll like it).
The point is that so often, we want to “skip to the end” of our life or career journeys.
The impulse to achieve the goals we set makes us feel anxious and uneasy.
But the truth is…
If you just skip to the end…
You wouldn’t truly enjoy the experience, would you?
What would it mean to you if you got the promotion…
Had millions of dollars in the bank…
Your business succeeded…
But you don’t experience the journey to get there?
That would be like reading about how “The Sixth Sense”, “Fight Club”, or any other incredible movie ends, without actually watching the movie.
The experience of watching the show or movie is what makes the ending so great.
Same goes for you.
So the next time you feel that impulse to want to “get to the end of your movie”…
Remember this…
“If I just skip to the ending, it’ll spoil the experience.”
OBSERVATION
Harvard psychologist Tal Ben-Shahar coined the term arrival fallacy after experiencing it firsthand as a young elite squash player. He defined it as “the false belief that reaching a valued destination can sustain happiness.” After winning a tournament he’d worked years toward, he expected to feel fulfilled, and briefly did. Then the pressure and emptiness returned. Research consistently confirms this pattern: the happiness we expect to feel upon reaching a goal is almost always more intense and longer-lasting in our imagination than in reality. The journey, it turns out, isn’t just the path to the destination. It IS the destination.
(Ben-Shahar, T., Happier: Learn The Secrets To Daily Joy And Lasting Fulfillment, 2007)
STRATEGY
This week, I invite you to notice when you feel the desire to “just skip to the end”.
When you feel that desire…
Pause.
Remind yourself that the experience of the journey is what makes the destination so grand.
Remind yourself that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.
And each step you take in pursuit of your goal is what will make the achievement of your goal deeply fulfilling.
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to embrace the journey)
International Keynote Speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Master at making a very loud “popping” noise by pressing my finger into the inside of my cheek and pushing out (great trick for kids’ birthday parties)