12/15/25
STORY
Abraham Lincoln was furious with one of his generals.
It was the height of the Civil War…
And the general had made a costly mistake.
Lincoln wrote a scathing letter.
He criticized the decisions and warned that the missteps could cost the war.
We know about this letter because it was found in Lincoln’s desk.
He never sent it.
At some point…
Lincoln paused and recognized the damage the letter could cause to the general, the troops, and the mission.
So he expressed his emotions privately and chose restraint publicly.
That decision offers a powerful lesson in leadership and emotional intelligence.
Too often, we react the moment frustration hits.
We speak before we pause.
Lincoln reminds us that emotions are natural…
But unchecked reactions can create unnecessary harm.
Pause first.
Consider the impact.
Not every emotion needs an audience.
OBSERVATION
When we feel threatened, the amygdala takes over and temporarily shuts down the brain’s rational center (what psychologist Daniel Goleman called an “amygdala hijack”). In those moments, reason gives way to fight, flight, or freeze, which is why we often say or do things we later regret.
(Healthline, Amygdala Hijack: When Emotion Takes Over, April 2025)
STRATEGY
When you feel triggered this week…
Allow yourself to express those emotions privately.
Type up a draft of an email but don’t send it.
Write in your journal but don’t share it.
Allow yourself to process the emotions…
Then choose a logical and thoughtful response.
Rooting for you,
Jay (encouraging you to pause before responding)
Global keynote speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
A pretty decent chef