06/22/26
STORY
12 years ago on this day, I received a call from my mother at 6am.
I missed the first call.
She called me a second time.
I’ll never forget the sound of her voice, and the words she said to me after I picked up.
“Your father had a heart attack, and I don’t know if he’s going to make it.”
By the time I reached the hospital…
My father passed away.
And while the memory of my father’s death is imprinted in my mind…
On this day, I do my best to remember his life.
Here’s what I remember…
He was kind.
He would go out of his way to help people.
His smile would light up a room.
He was a great dancer (and he passed none of that down to me 
).
Although his marriage wasn’t always perfect…
He was always there for my mother.
He would say…
“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
He did more than say that.
He lived it.
He loved “The Sopranos”.
One night, after recovering from a procedure, he took one too many muscle relaxers…
It was the only time I saw my father that “loose”…
And my sisters and I laugh about it to this day.
After my grandfather died, I had tears in my eyes and told him how much I regretted that I didn’t visit my grandfather more…
And he hugged me tighter than he ever had before.
When I was trying to build a music career, I asked him for a loan to shoot a music video…
And rather than scoff at the idea…
He supported me without hesitation.
Weeks before he passed away, he asked me for career advice…
And I remember feeling more connected to him than ever, because he was genuinely seeking my help.
He loved his granddaughter with all of his heart.
He would smile ear to ear when he saw my daughter…
Savoring every moment he had with her.
For the rest of my life, I’ll miss my father.
And for the rest of my life, I’ll do my best to follow in his footsteps.
I’ll do my best to live as he lived.
I’ll do my best to make him proud.
The lesson?
Savor the time you have with the people you love.
And when it comes to our parents…
Follow after them.
Identify their best qualities, internalize them, and amplify them.
Not only to make them proud…
But to continue to pass down those qualities to the next generation.
OBSERVATION
Grief researchers Dennis Klass, Phyllis Silverman, and Steven Nickman challenged the old idea that healthy grieving means “letting go” of someone we’ve lost. Their research on what’s known as continuing bonds found the opposite: that maintaining a connection to a loved one through memory, ritual, and carrying forward their values is a natural and healthy part of grief, not something to move past. The relationship doesn’t end, it simply changes form.
(Klass, Silverman, & Nickman, Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief, 1996)
STRATEGY
Think about someone you love who passed away.
Someone you care for deeply.
What is the one quality you saw in them that you appreciate most?
This week…
How can you honor them in a way that showcases that quality?
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to stay connected to those who passed on)
Global keynote speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
The son of a father who loved with all his heart