06/02/25
Years ago, I was consulting for a company to develop training programs.
I heard that the CEO had some feedback he wanted to give me on how we’re delivering training, so we set up a time to chat.
I was so incredibly nervous before picking up the phone and calling the CEO.
I was physically shaking.
I was afraid that I was doing a bad job, that he regretted hiring me, that he was about to end our partnership.
The phone call ended up being very constructive, and we aligned on a solution without much disagreement.
After hanging up, I took my journal out and started writing.
Why was I so afraid of speaking to the CEO?
I speak to people all the time.
I challenge people all the time.
Why would it be different with him?
It occurred to me that it was due to the fact that in my mind, I placed the CEO on a pedestal of authority that created this disruption.
Since I perceived him as “the authority”, the thought of him rejecting me created intense anxiety within me.
I’m so grateful for that experience because ever since, I’ve made it a priority to never put anyone on that pedestal.
Not just because it helps me to be at ease…
It’s also because people with those titles appreciate someone who speaks to them as a regular person (in most cases).
So here’s my simple 2-step process when speaking to anyone who has perceived authority…
1. Humanize Them
I bring the person into my mind and see their humanity.
I imagine them laughing, crying, feeling sad, happy, depressed, excited…
I see them with loved ones…
I picture what it must be like to be them…
And it helps me to remember that they are human, just like me.
This immediately brings them down from the pedestal and eases my nerves.
2. I Trust Myself
I then remember times when I’ve been in situations like this in the past.
Speaking to authority figures…
Having to respond to difficult questions…
And how well I’ve handled it.
I remind myself that I’m capable of speaking to anyone.
And when my mind is overthinking a conversation I’m about to have with an authority figure, I affirm to myself…
“Future Jay got this. I trust him completely.”
In putting my trust in my future self, I let go of the need to keep playing the conversation in my mind over and over again.
Whenever you’re feeling nervous about engaging with someone who is a perceived authority…
Or even just someone you admire a great deal…
I invite you to apply these 2 simple steps.
See their humanity.
Trust yourself completely.
You’ll be able to communicate more confidently, be at ease, and truly connect with anyone.
Rooting for you,
Jay (encouraging you to trust yourself)
