03/24/25
I cringe whenever I hear a thought leader, speaker, or coach talk about “controlling your thoughts” or “controlling your feelings”.
Why?
Because it’s a bunch of nonsense.
Hear me out.
While I know they mean well…
The language used suggests that we have the power to control every thought and every feeling that arises in our experience.
And that’s simply…not…true.
If it were true…
Then answer me this…
What thoughts are you going to have at dinner tonight?
What thoughts will you have after reading this email?
Will you control the thoughts and feelings that enter your consciousness?
It’s so obvious, isn’t it?
You DO NOT CONTROL thoughts or feelings.
No one has that control.
That would be like controlling the weather.
Thoughts and feelings, like the weather, are natural phenomena that change constantly and arise due to an infinite number of factors.
So my advice is to forget control.
Let go of the idea that you can control every thought and every feeling.
Instead…
Recognize that your true power is not in control…
Your true power is the power of CHOICE.
You can choose how you relate to your thoughts and feelings.
You can choose which of your thoughts you believe to be true.
You can choose your response to the thoughts and feelings that arise in your experience.
There is IMMENSE POWER in this.
So while you can’t control the weather…
You can choose how you relate to the weather.
You can take it further and realize that the accumulation of the choices all humans make influences the weather (i.e. pollution).
The weather will change based on those choices.
(this is not a plug for climate change awareness, however, I do think we have a lot of work to do!)
In the same way…
The choices you make on whether you fight your thoughts or accept your thoughts…
The choices you make on which thoughts you believe…
Influence your overall thought patterns and how you feel.
Over time…
You will think and feel differently by stepping into your power of choice and letting go of attempts to control that which is outside of your control.
So I invite you to step into your power, my friend.
Let go of control.
Step into the power of choice.
Rooting for you,
Jay (encouraging you to step into your power)
