10/26/26
STORY
It was a short flight from Newark to DC, and the flight attendant made this announcement:
“If using your mobile device, please use your headphones, or silence your device to avoid disrupting other passengers.”
The thought that comes to me every time I hear this is:
“Do they really have to announce that? Shouldn’t everyone know that?”
As the plane was about to take flight…
I noticed a woman back a few rows…
Watching IG reels…
With the volume turned all the way up.
The flight attendant had to go up to this woman and ask her to turn it down.
She was visibly frustrated.
After a few minutes, I glanced over at her, and I couldn’t believe what I saw.
She was hunched over, phone inches from her face, watching her IG reels.
The volume was up just enough for her to hear it.
When the flight attendant walked by, she would lower it.
It felt like watching a rebellious kid in school testing their limits with the teacher.
What was so concerning is that it was a 90-minute flight!
This poor woman was so addicted to her phone that she couldn’t go one hour and 30 minutes without it.
The discomfort of having to just sit there and do nothing was too great for her to consider.
When the flight landed and the plane was taxiing, she went right back to turning the volume all the way up.
While at first I was really annoyed with her…
After thinking about it…
I felt so much compassion for this woman.
No one wants to be this addicted to anything.
And if I could pull her to the side and talk to her, I would invite her to consider her relationship to her phone and social media.
Is it healthy?
Does it truly serve you?
If you can’t go without it for 90 minutes, isn’t that a sign that there may be too much dependency?
The point is that nothing should have that much control over us.
Anything that has that kind of power over you is dangerous to your well-being.
I think it’s rare to find anyone who has a perfect relationship with their cell phone.
All of us…
Myself included…
Can do better.
My invitation to you is to take inventory of your relationship with your devices.
Do you control your devices?
Or do your devices control you?
OBSERVATION
(This observation was written with the help of AI)
Psychologist Timothy Wilson and his team at the University of Virginia tested how people handle doing nothing. They left participants alone in a plain room for 6 to 15 minutes with no phone, no book, and nothing to do but think. The only option was a button that gave them a mild electric shock (one they had already said they’d pay money to avoid). 67% of the men and 25% of the women shocked themselves anyway, just to have something to do! That’s how much we resist being bored and doing nothing!!
(Wilson et al., Just Think: The Challenges of the Disengaged Mind, Science, 2014)
STRATEGY
Make some rules this week.
Here are some examples:
– Before bed, put your phone in another room so that you don’t reach for your phone as soon as you wake up.
– Never take your phone into the bathroom (we all do it, don’t feel embarrassed lol).
– Leave your phone in a different room for every meal.
– When you’re doing deep, focused work, turn your phone off (crazy idea, right???)
– Turn off notifications for unimportant apps (do you really need to know every single LinkedIn update?).
– Experiment with putting your phone on silent (I’ve done this for years, and I’m happier because of it).
There are so many more you can come up with it.
Whatever it is, commit to setting some clear rules around how you will use your phone.
Don’t just be a consumer, reacting to every notification, glued to your social media feeds like a crack addict waiting for their next hit.
You’re better than that.
Reclaim your focus and attention.
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to reclaim what’s yours)
Global keynote speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Still blown away by “You Can See Everything” (if you haven’t seen it yet, go see it TODAY!)
