08/17/26
STORY
We were driving home from tennis when Alex and I noticed a fly in the car.
So annoying, right?
We opened the windows so that the fly could get out, and to our dismay, it just kept flying into the windshield.
I try not to kill flies if possible, but this one was getting on my nerves.
You have two huge openings to your left and right to fly out…
Why are you smacking against the windshield over and over again?
Finally, the fly got out, and it hit me…
We do this all the time.
We get stuck…
We’re trying to “find a way out”…
And we continue doing the same thing over and over again, hoping to get a different result.
The crazy part is…
If we simply choose to go in a new direction…
The “window” is open for us to fly through.
If you’re stuck in a job that you don’t love…
A relationship that isn’t working out…
Or even a state of mind that isn’t serving you…
You’re not going to free yourself from it by doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different outcome.
You need to do something different.
I know it’s hard…
I know it can be uncomfortable…
But I promise you…
The window is open for you.
You can make a decision right now to move in a new direction.
And if you find yourself caught in doing the same thing over and over again, with a false hope that something will change…
Think about that fly that smacks itself into the windshield when there are two open windows it could be flying through.
OBSERVATION
Neuroscientists describe cognitive rigidity as the brain’s tendency to repeat familiar behavioral patterns even when they’re no longer working (essentially getting stuck playing the same notes when the situation calls for a completely different song). Research consistently shows that people who exhibit greater cognitive flexibility, the willingness to try new approaches when old ones fail, report better psychological well-being, greater resilience, and a stronger ability to navigate change.
(Scientific Reports, “Psychological Flexibility and Cognitive-Affective Processes in Young Adults’ Daily Lives,” 2024)
STRATEGY
This week, notice if you’re caught in a repeat pattern that no longer serves you.
Whether it’s saying “yes” to the same person at work…
Having the same conversation with a friend…
Or convincing yourself that this is the last week you’re going to work until 10pm…
And pause before you do it.
Decide to take a new course of action.
Choose not to repeat the same patterns that result in unhappiness, frustration, or distress.
Choose a new path.
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to stop flying into the windshield)
International Keynote Speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Big fan of the artist Jon Bellion (if you’ve never heard of him, check him out – he’s brilliant!)