03/09/26
STORY
Are you a fan of Adam Sandler?
Growing up, I watched every one of his movies.
Recently, I heard a story about him that stuck with me.
Before the fame, before SNL, before the blockbuster films, Sandler was an acting student at NYU.
One day, his professor took him out for a beer.
During that conversation, the professor told him something blunt:
“Think about something else. Listen, you got heart, but you don’t have it. Choose another path.”
Years later, Sandler had become wildly successful.
One night, while celebrating a major milestone with friends, he ran into that same professor.
He looked over at his friends and said:
“That’s the only teacher who ever bought me a beer.”
Not sarcasm.
Not resentment.
Instead, he expressed gratitude to the professor for buying him a beer all those years ago.
He didn’t remind the professor how wrong he had been.
He didn’t hold a grudge.
He simply remembered the kindness.
It makes me wonder:
How often do we hold onto anger from something someone said years ago?
What good does that resentment actually bring us?
Sandler chose a different path.
He looked for the good…
And let the rest go.
Maybe that’s the real lesson.
Don’t take everything so personally.
Look for the kindness.
And learn to let go of everything else.
OBSERVATION
Research published in the American Psychological Association found that people who are more forgiving experience lower levels of depression, anxiety, and anger, along with better overall health and life satisfaction. The studies suggest that letting go of resentment reduces chronic stress and supports both mental and physical well-being.
(Toussaint & Worthington, “Forgiveness and Health”, American Psychological Association, 2015)
STRATEGY
Think of one person who’s frustrated you.
Could be from recent interactions….
Or from years ago.
Even if you don’t ever say it to them directly…
Can you forgive this person?
Can you come to terms with the fact that even if their behavior is unacceptable…
You can understand why they behaved as they did?
In your heart…
Can you have compassion for this person?
Don’t do this for them…
Forgive them for yourself.
Let go of the resentment…
Wish that person well…
And see how much better it makes you feel.
Rooting for you,
Jay (inviting you to forgive and let go)
Global keynote speaker
Host of the “Unstuck” podcast
Admirer of magicians and mentalists (Oz Pearlman is extraordinary!)