08/12/24
“You are nothing.”
“You are nobody.”
“You are useless.”
“You’re not good enough.”
Hurtful words, right?
If someone said that to you…
How would you feel?
Would you let them talk to you that way?
Would you agree with them?
If your answer is no…
And you wouldn’t tolerate anyone speaking to you in that way…
Why do you say it to yourself?
These self-deprecating thoughts arise naturally…
Due to conditioning and your mind’s way of attempting to protect you.
The thoughts themselves are not the problem.
The problem is that you believe these thoughts to be true.
So how do you work through this negative self-talk?
Here are 3 steps you can take to work through such self-critical thinking:
1. Receive These Thoughts With Kindness
Imagine your 2-year-old came up to you screaming and throwing a tantrum.
What’s the first thing you would do?
You’d give them a hug, right?
So in the same way…
Receive any of these thoughts with compassion.
2. Ask Questions
After you hugged your 2-year-old…
The best thing you could do is seek to understand.
You’d ask questions to learn more about what the child was experiencing.
Follow the same process here and be genuinely curious about what’s going on with your inner dialogue.
Be careful not to over-analyze here.
A simple, basic understanding of why these thoughts are coming up is sufficient.
3. Team Up
After you’ve understood the 2-year-old, you’d work WITH them to help them through their challenge.
How you do this for yourself…
Is to see your thoughts and feelings as support systems.
These thoughts are here to protect you, signal you to take action, reveal something to you, or help you to grow.
So rather than fight them…
Work with them.
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Remember…
You are your longest commitment.
You will talk to yourself more than anyone else in the world.
So be sure that you’re having kind, respectful, and positive conversations with yourself.
Rooting for you,
Jay (reminding you to treat yourself how you treat the people you love most)